I thought I'd post something on a more serious note today.
I was on Twitter yesterday, when I kept seeing tweets which said "RIP Amanda Todd"..curiosity got the best of me and i decided to look further into it. Now there were even more tweets and trends like "Here's Amanda's story..nobody should be treated this way", "retweet and spread her story to stop bullying" "RIP Amanda Todd, so young so beautiful."..........
Then I found the video. In the video it was Amanda who explained her story. She was in 7th grade when she went on webcam to make new friends. They started calling her things like "beautiful", "stunning", "perfect" etc. One guy asked her to strip...she did...that was her one mistake.
A year later she got a message on Facebook..from that guy..she didn't know how he knew her, but he knew her address, her friends, her school, the names of people in her family...The message said "If you don't put on a show for me I will send your boobs to everybody". Amanda ignored the message.
Christmas break came around, and Amanda got a knock on her door at 4am. It was the police. The picture had been sent to everyone. Everyone lost respect for her and she lost all her friends.
She moved school.
Amanda started to become really sick with frequent anxiety attacks, major depression and panic disorders. All because of that one little mistake she had made years ago. Amanda moved on to drugs and alcohol...her anxiety got worse and she couldn't even go out anymore.
A year passed, and the guy had now gotten a hold of a list of names of her new friends, and her new school. He made a Facebook page, and posted Amanda's boobs as his profile picture. Amanda lost all her respect people had for her and her friends, again. Just because of one mistake. She cried herself to sleep...if only that one little thing had never happened...Nobody liked her anymore, she was called names and she was judged..She began cutting..she sat alone at lunch.
So she moved schools again... even though she still sat alone, everything was better here..A month later Amanda began talking to an old guy friend. They texted back and forth, he told her he liked her...he led her on...He had a girlfriend, but he led Amanda on telling her he'd soon end things so be with her. He asked her to come over, his girlfriend was away on holiday. Believing he truly liked her, she went. They hooked up.
One week later Amanda got a text saying "get out of your school". The boy's girlfriend and 15 others including the boy surrounded her. His girlfriend pointed out bitterly that nobody liked her. Someone from the back yelled "punch her already"..and so she did. Amanda was knocked to the ground and punched several times. A few kids took videos..teachers came out, but Amanda lied and said it was her fault, She didn't want the boy getting hurt, she really believed he liked her..he just wanted her body. Amanda went and hid in a ditch. Her dad found her hours later. He brought her home. She thought nobody deserves this. She drank bleach in the hopes of ending her life. She almost did. Her insides were almost killed and she was rushed to the hospital where she was flushed. She came home to find messages on Facebook saying "drink more bleach bitch", "i hope she dies", "next time try a different bleach you stupid whore"....Nobody cared.
Amanda moved to her mum's. to a new city, a new school...Amanda didn't press any charges because she so desperately just wanted to move on. 6 more months go by....People are constantly uploading pictures of bleach and ditches and tagging her. Amanda was doing a lot better, but the posts just kept coming "i hope she dies" "drink more bleach and bury yourself in that ditch" It got too much, Amanda couldn't bare it anymore. Her anxiety got worse and she couldn't leave her house all summer. she became more and more depressed. She took counselling courses and anti-depressant pills..she overdosed herself once and spent 2 nights in hospital. Amanda made a mistake a long time ago, but she had moved away from those people, from that city, but they kept on following her with those posts.
Amanda made a video about this, and her last post was "I have nobody. I need someone :("
On Wednesday the 10th October 2012, Amanda hung herself.
I don't quite know how to react. I don't really know what to say to it either. I have 10000 opinions and things I want to say, but I can't seem to formulate them properly, not one single one.
This is not ok. Amanda was a beautiful girl, and even though I didn't know her personally, and in fact didn't even know her until yesterday when I heard about this.. I wish I had. I wish I could have been there to help Amanda in some way. Nobody deserves to feel that way to need to end their lives. She made one mistake, but people had to keep bringing it up. I know that there's unfortunately many others around there who're in a similar position to Amanda...please, speak out before it's too late. You can see from all the support Amanda got after people like me found out about her, people who care. There are actually people in this world who will care if you share your story, even if it seems like there's no one you know. Share your story on the internet, that's probably the fastest way to get people to hear you out. I know people may judge and say you're attention seeking, but if you're in that much pain, then regardless of what other people say, this is not attention seeking.
I don't know how far this blog post will get, or if there is any purpose to it, other than me reflecting my feelings on this. But I know that this blog gets read in many parts of the world so if anyone dear to Amanda is reading this, I send my deepest and sincerest condolences to you. Amanda, I'm sure was a beautiful person.
If you're reading this and happen to be in a similar position as Amanda,please say something. Get help before it's too late. You may think that ending your life is the easiest way out, but you don't realize how many others around you are put into guilt, and sadness and may even begin to do the same things you did (self-harm etc.), just because they weren't able to help. You've experienced the pain, and how awful it is to go through, I know you'd never wish for anyone to have to go through the same things..especially if it's a loved one.
RIP Amanda Todd.
Mihika
